About a year ago, I found myself at a playground with my three children on a crisp fall day. It should have been a perfect moment. Instead, I was glued to my phone, scrolling on Instagram. One of my kids had been calling my name for several seconds before I even noticed. 

I’m a social neuroscientist who studies the effects of social media use on our emotions and wellbeing. And yet, there I was, the classic “zombie parent” at the park. If I can fall into this trap, anyone can. 

This moment captures a paradox of our time: in 2025, we have more tools than ever to “connect,” yet many of us feel more isolated than before. Social media gives us a sense of closeness, but it’s often an illusion. We see curated highlight reels of other people’s lives and can’t help but compare them to our own messy reality. The result? A persistent feeling of incompleteness and inadequacy.

This isn’t an accident. Social media platforms are designed to keep us hooked. Their business model depends on capturing our attention. In the U.S. alone, major platforms rake in billions in ad revenue each year. And while these apps can help us make initial connections, especially for those seeking community - they rarely deliver the depth and richness of real-world relationships. 

So what can we do? I’m not suggesting all of us delete our Facebook and Instagram accounts tomorrow (though, some days that sounds tempting). Instead, we can take practical steps to reclaim authentic connection, starting today. This list is by no means exhaustive, but it’s a good start:

First, be intentional online. Instead of mindlessly scrolling, reach out to someone specific. Rekindle an old friendship. Invite a former classmate for coffee or a FaceTime chat. Use digital tools as a bridge to real interaction, not a substitute for it. 

Second, prioritize offline relationships. Our time and attention are precious. Let’s invest them in people who matter most: family, close friends, neighbors. Make a habit of regular calls, shared meals, or even joining local groups and organizations based on shared interests. A few years ago, I joined a running club in my town. It not only improved my health but opened doors to friendships I never expected. 

Third, build community where you already are. Connection thrives when we create space for it. Organize a neighborhood potluck, start a book club, or join a local volunteer effort. These small acts can ripple outward in subtle yet powerful ways.

Communities thrive when we act collectively. Imagine parents agreeing to limit phone use for themselves and their kids, so no child feels left out. Or neighbors organizing hikes and activities that bring families together. These small steps can really push the needle with respect to our sense of connection and belonging with us. 

Ultimately, the power to flip the script is in our hands. We don’t need to wait for tech companies to change their algorithms, although that should absolutely happen. Until it does, we can start to effect change now, by choosing fewer, deeper online interactions and more conversations and connections in person. 

Because at the end of the day, likes and comments can’t replace laughter shared across a table or the quiet comfort of a friend’s presence. In a world saturated with screens, real connection is still our most valuable currency. 

Dr. Richard Lopez is an assistant professor of psychology and neuroscience at Worcester Polytechnic Institute. He studies the impacts of digital media use on emotions and mental health. He and his family live in Rutland.