Earlier this year, I watched the much-talked-about Netflix mini-series, Adolescence. The series offers a raw and unfiltered look at how bullying and harassment have escaped the schoolyard and insidiously followed our children home, persisting at all hours, thanks to the devices glued to the palms of their hands.

It’s a disturbing paradox we must name and confront: the very platforms that promise to connect our kids are often the ones feeding their anxiety and social exclusion. And this isn’t just a TV drama; cyberbullying is a new and pervasive reality for so many young people today. When considering the impacts of social media, scrolling through highlight reels featuring memes and cat videos are one thing, but there is a dark side with harmful ripple effects: persistent threats and harassment on group chats, acts of cruelty that go viral, and the permanent, staying power of a digital mistake. The show Adolescence illustrates how social media platforms can quickly become toxic environments where anonymity and distance have made cruelty easy, and empathy incredibly difficult.

So, what can we do? It’s easy to feel powerless, but we are not. As I argued in my previous column, we don’t have to wait for tech companies to fix this. We can build a safer, more resilient community for our children right now.

First, connect with and listen to your teen. Watch Adolescence if you haven’t done so already or consider co-watching it with your child if they’re old enough (the show is rated for ages 13-14+). After watching the show together, find a quiet, device-less place where you can ask your child open-ended questions: “Have you ever seen or heard about anything like this among your friends or at school? How does this kind of thing make you feel? Has anyone ever been there for you when you felt this way?”

Second, empower your child so they know they are responsible for their online behaviors. Instead of just logging screen time, let’s focus on building our kids’ resilience and help them to become informed digital citizens. We need to actively teach our kids that their words have tremendous weight, especially online. Moreover, we must emphasize to them that in the age of the internet and social media, there are no “takebacks” when you text, post a comment, or share a picture or video with others. 

Third, organize and build resilience in our schools and communities. We must take collective action. Just as some folks coordinate neighborhood potlucks or book clubs, we need to organize as parents. Talk to your friends and neighbors. Share rules and strategies around technology use. Let’s partner with our schools to demand that digital wellness and ethics are taught as core skills and are treated with equal weight as math or reading skills. Let’s create space for local, phone-free events where our kids can practice the awkward, wonderful art of in-person friendship.

Ultimately, social media apps and other emerging technologies will continue to evolve. But our core values don’t have to. We have the power to effect change, starting in our own homes and in our local communities. 

Dr. Richard Lopez is an assistant professor of psychology and neuroscience at Worcester Polytechnic Institute. He studies the impacts of digital media use on emotions and mental health. He and his family live in Rutland.